Cold

Easter has been cold, wet and windy and the fact that the central heating in my little flat chose this particular moment in time to fail was not appreciated. Luckily as it was Easter there were lots of church activities to get involved with which at least kept me warm most of the time. However the rest of the time was mostly spent in my freezing bed and so I’m now at home nursing a cold, though the heating fixed now. Will report more when I have something to say.

Bad Week

Well the last few days have definitely been fairly hectic so I haven’t had much time for blogging with everything as usual happening at once. I once heard a minister preach oh how if we were in God’s will for us then all our time usage would all nicely dovetail. As a result that thought always comes back to haunt me now on weeks like the one just passed. So if it’s true I guess I must be in the wrong place at the moment! Firstly we had some events in our area’s local group of churches following on from the Women’s World Day of Prayer last Friday that had been organized by an outside group. Unfortunately it seemed in there enthusiasm for their project they had neglected to arrange several matters including accommodation for most of the guest speakers thinking this had already been done by someone else. Consequently I’ve spent a lot of my time over the last week acting as an impromptu chauffeur picking up the guests from hastily arranged lodgings and driving them about to their speaking engagements. Some of them were none to gracious about their own experience of the administrative mess. But at least l got to know London a whole lot better as a result even if it hasn’t done my old banger of a car a lot of good.
On top of this it seems that the relationship situation I have blogged about in the past involving two of my ex-colleagues from a previous job has come to ahead. One of the parishioners who helps out as a volunteer with the club they run had also cottoned on to what was going on and started asking awkward questions. Without saying too much more it has caused a bit of a bru-ha-ha locally so I am glad I am no longer directly involved. It has meant however that I have had to spend a lot of time on the phone talking to the various parties involved. In particular trying to explain to their manager and my ex-boss about what I know of the situation, and why I did not say anything, as she tries to get to the bottom of the matter has not been easy.
With all this I haven’t had as much time to prepare for my own youth and administration work as I would have liked this week and probably got a bit snappy as a result. Whatever the cause it seems I managed to upset one of the church members with something I had said about Sunday school work as I often end up having to do her preparation for her.
If that was not enough my father has also been up in London helping to promote some pilgrimage tours that he does as a side line to his main work as a lecturer and teacher. Obviously I had planned to spend some time with him whilst he was here showing him around my flat and introducing him to the various people I work with but a lot of that had to go out the window. We did manage to meet up for a meal one evening in Kensington just before he had to get the train home but it was all a bit rushed.
So all in all not a great week, hopefully this one will be better.

Mother's Day

With Mothers Day just passed I thought this would be good place to thank my parents, but my mum in particular, for teaching me the most important thing in life. That is that Christ has taken care of my single greatest need by dying on the Cross for my sins, and has given purpose to my life, that is what truly matters. My mom is old now and her health is not that good but she knows she is going to be with the Lord, so when she talks about it, she does so with a smile on her face and great anticipation. She is a perfect example of joy in the midst of suffering and trusts God completely. He is her solid rock that she stands on in trying times and because of that she has a steady faith that does not waver with the changing circumstances.
She has faithfully loved her husband and three children. She has faithfully served us. She has laid down her life for us and made us her priority. She has set an amazing example for my sisters and myself to follow. Mom, I love you so much. Thank you for the godly woman you are. I will deeply miss you when you go home to be with the Lord, but praise Him that we never have to say goodbye.

Clear Warning

We had a guest speaker today at church who issued what seemed like a relevant and timely warning which I just to repeat here. He had grown up in Rhodesia under segregation and had to share his bedroom with his two brothers both of whom had become drunks as their way of handling their life situation. As he said 'this was not a particularly pleasant situation'. He had then gone to a Christian school and seen many of his class mates lives ruined similarly as they also turned to drink at some point. Lastly he had seen many good and intelligent class mates lives lost in accidents which were no fault of their own but involved drunk drivers. As a result he had always tried hard to avoid alcohol whilst living in Rhodesia. When he came to the UK to study he struggled with many friends who tried to get him to go to the pub telling him that the culture was different here. Here they said people don't drink to get drunk like in Rhodesia they just have one or two drinks to socialize then go home. He felt that while this might have been true in 70's, 80's and even 90's it was no longer true as programs like 'Booze Britain' show. I have to say that this rang a very clear bell with me as in the youth club I now run and ones I have been involved in the past I can think of several kids in their early teens who would often turn up slightly the worse for wear due to alcohol. In just about every case whilst they might explain it in terms of being an 'adult' behavior it was obvious in every case it was used as a way of coping (read forgetting) about other issues in their lives. Most of which they didn't have the strength of character or maturity to deal with and where those 'adults' around them were no better equipped to do so, or were abrogating there responsibility. In many cases these 'adults' were the cause rather than solution to their problems. So the warning is clear - don't think it can't happen here, especially if we as a society don't care enough to provide alternate role models.

Random thoughts

I met an old friend and mentor from my college days this week for a meal and a chat. He has been a significant person in my life and education helping to form many of my views on a host of different topics. However now in his mid 50’s and despite a formidable teaching career in International and UK law he is very vexed about his future and the both hidden and open ageism he is seeing and experiencing for himself. The fact that he is also black may have something to do with what he is experiencing though he feels it is predominantly to do with his age and the cost of providing for his pension. As a result he is feeling increasingly isolated and rejected despite being a very bright, caring and experienced man.
On another front a number of friends and acquaintances of mine seem to be feeling under pressure from being single and Christian. It’s a feeling I know well myself and often makes itself felt around Valentine’s Day, Christmas time or when someone I know my own age gets married. I also find it interesting that according to the most recent demographics I’ve seen for the UK the number of single occupied households is very much on the rise and now rapidly approaching about 40% of all stock. If the trend continues then married couples will soon be in the minority. But again this leaves many people I know feeling isolated and questioning God’s love for them.
In my home town my church was very big on practicing hospitality perhaps because of the high proportion of students who worshipped there from the local university colleges. However since first coming to London about a year ago I can only think of one occasion when I have been offered hospitality by a person who I didn’t already know from my past in some way. It seems to me that we are perhaps in the big cities loosing the art of showing hospitality to strangers which any reading of the bible will show was considered very important in the ancient world.
In the mean time I offer below some words I read recently for those who may be feeling isolated or rejected.
“Do you feel as though God isn’t answering your prayers? Are you tempted to doubt His goodness? When I feel this way, I have to remind myself that my circumstances aren’t the barometer of God’s love and goodness – the cross is”.
Life and the devil may try to convince us that God doesn’t care for us but he has shown how much he does by dying on the cross for us. We can’t rely on our feelings - so get out there and practice some hospitality yourself!

Juno

Having seen this movie I find I can't stop thinking about it. I had mixed feelings after seeing it as I’m not sure a 12A classification is right for it. I would not feel comfortable say taking a group of 13 year old girls to see it. But that said, I felt it was well made and thought-provoking with some the frank and very funny sexual references. Vaguely pro-life it was more graphic than I felt comfortable with, although the way the kids talk in the movie is probably pretty realistic for the US, and where they lead the UK usually follows unfortunately. In the initial stages of the film I thought Juno's unplanned pregnancy was treated very flippantly, and found the parents' reaction was hard to credit, but as the movie progressed the plot and characters thoughts and motivations become more fleshed out. I appreciated the fact that the teenage pregnancy and abortion clinic scenes were not glamorised. The ending was poignant. I was mostly saddened that so many teenagers today have the same attitude about sex as that portrayed in the movie. I meet a lot of unfulfilled kids who are looking to relationships to provide what they are lacking in their family life. In the film Juno is abandoned by her mum, and it seems like she has learned what she thinks is a good way to get at some form of love and attention from guys. Many girls today it seems have learned the same thing.

You never know when!

Yesterday I was waiting to try on a new top and some other items in a local boutique in a very long queue that seemed to have stopped moving because they only had three cubicles and one of them seemed to being used to store stuff. I couldn’t see anyone coming in or going out of the other two cubicles.
The woman in front of me in the queue started moaning and complaining about the wait. I looked at her and felt really sorry for her, as she seemed so stressed. ‘This is really getting to you, isn’t it?’ I said sympathetically.
‘Yes, it is,’ she agreed. She had just come from work where people had not done their jobs properly, and that was stressful, and she was in her lunch hour and in rush to do go to the post office where she thought she would have to queue again.
‘I used to be like that,’ I said. ‘I was always running from one thing to another feeling stressed.’ ‘I’m always like this,’ said the woman. ‘This is my life. But you seem so serene and peaceful’
I started to tell her about my life, about how I had often kept myself busy trying to find fulfillment in friends and my work, and nothing had seemed to do the trick. I told her how I came to understand through someone that my continual striving was an attempt to fill a gap in my life that could only be filled with Jesus.
The woman plied me with loads of questions and before we knew it, it was her turn to go into a cubicle. What she did next really surprised as she said to the shop girl in charge ‘Can you let someone else go first? I’ve got to finish this conversation!’
Then she turned to me and said, ‘I know this is a really strange question, but will you have lunch with me?’ I readily accepted and we agreed to meet in 20 minutes time.
That wasn’t all though as whilst I was trying on my stuff I overheard one shop assistant say to another, ‘That woman just met another in the queue for the first time and now they are going to have lunch together to talk about Jesus.’
When I came out of the cubicle the shop girl asked me if I knew the lady I was going to lunch with. ‘No,’ I said, and gave her a huge smile.
We met later as agreed for a fantastic meal, which she paid for, and the whole time she was asking me more questions. By the end of it I felt as if I’d known her for years and we agreed to keep in touch. As she doesn’t live locally she is now going to look for a church in her area.

Interesting Times

It's an interesting time work wise at present in the sense of the Chinese proverb with several things waiting on an outcome. Firstly although I only started this job at the beginning of 2008 it seems now that the funding for it after March/April could be in doubt. The church I am based at had a gift day last Sunday to try and raise funds for various building repairs and the stipends for the trainee cleric and myself. Despite being based in a fairly affluent area of London and with a congregation of around 200 it appears that not enough has been raised so far as was expected, although bits of cash are still coming in. I am told that some difficult decisions may need to be made around April time if things don't improve. My flat mate, the trainee cleric who is still just in his teens seems interested in me in a most uncleric like fashion which is proving a little awkward at times. That's not say I don't feel flattered. Then I am still trying to sort out a similar problem between two people I use to work with who appear to now be getting in hot water over it. I like and care for them both so it's difficult to know how far to go in what I say to them or even if I should stay involved now.

So all in all the times are interseting and the more I pray about them the more God seems to say wait on him. Probably wise advice but not necessarily easy given my nature.

Busy being busy

Had to go over to my old stomping ground in north london last night to collect some possesions I had left behind and talk to some old work colleagues. With the administration my new church wants me to do still ringing in my ears the whole day went by at a rush.
Made me wonder about the old thing of the devil getting us so busy being busy that we don't have to stop and deal with the important things like relationships. For instance there were three or four people I saw yesterday both at my new place of work and my old one that I would have liked to stop and have a long chat with but barely found the time to give them two minutes.

Initial thoughts

Well this is all a bit new though I've been stalking the blogs of a few people I know for a couple of weeks now to get a feel for how it all works. But what to write about as I don't know you all that well, who ever you are, who may be reading this blog and those I do know have already caused me more than a few surprises. Not all of them pleasant.
I think I'll start with something safe like how crappy TV seems to be at the moment. Is it just me or the winter blues but I can only think of about two TV shows that I think are worth making time for at the moment. I thought life was fairly boring in my home town of Durham and that by coming down to the big smoke things would be different. Which initially I suppose they were but now the novelty has worn off and I seem back to square one with fewer friends. And on a church youth workers wage I can't afford to go out on the lash to find some fun that often. Oh well at least my appentice vicar flat mate seems fiendly enough (spelling mistake intended).